Be nice to me, I'm a millionaire

-B

Looks like I’m a millionaire. Whoopee…

I got the following e-mail today:


THE DESK OF THE DIRECTOR PROMOTIONS,
UK NATIONAL LOTTERY,
MORTIMER HOUSE ,MORTIMER STREET,
LONDON, W1T3JG UNITED KINGDOM.
+44 70111 49284
(Customer Services)

ATTENTION: WINNER,
We are pleased to inform you of the final announcement today, 22nd of
February,2007 regarding winners of the UK NATIONAL LOTTERY ONLINE PROMO PROGRAMME, held on the 10th of February,2007. It is yet to be unclaimed and you are getting the FINAL NOTIFICATION as regards this.You have therefore been approved to claim a total sum of (£750,000.00) Seven hundred and Fifty Thousand Pounds.
Congratulations, you have just won yourself £750,000.00 in the satellite software email lottery conducted by UK NATIONAL LOTTERY PROMOTION in which your e-mail address was randomly selected by software powered by the Internet.Your email address was amongst those chosen on this quarter and you are to contact our AFFILIATED COURIER COMPANY for your free delivery of your certificate and cheque of £750,000.00. When contacting them you are to include this order Number 37096218 as your secret number of your parcel to the courier company.In the light of the above you are to fill this claims form and send it to the courier company for propper documentation of your address to enable them delivery your winnings with out delay of your cheque.

Thank you for being part of our online promotional lottery program.

Yours Truly,
Sir. Richard K. Lloyd.
Co-coordinator(Online Promo Pro gramme).


Upon receiving this e-mail, I immediately ran up to the CEO of my company, pulled down my pants, rubbed my ass all over the documents strewn about his desk, took a steaming shit, and smeared the words “I QUIT” with the steaming shit, all over his white board.

Well, I planned on it, but I decided to do a little research first. Apparently there are several variants of this e-mail such as:


FROM: PROMOTIONS DEPARTMENT OF ROYAL NATIONAL LOTTERY, WINNING NOTICE
FOR SILVER STAKE WINNER- Ref. No.- RNL/051/652659967/UK

Attention:

Royal National Lottery has just concluded its final draws of it's periodical promotional program. An exclusive list of email addresses of thousands of individual and corporate bodies were picked by automated random computer search from the internet. No tickets were sold.

Your email address emerged as one of seven winners in the silver stakes category as email addresses were soughted, from a total number of 25,000 addresses drawn from all over the globe.

After an automated computer ballot of our International Promotions Program, only SEVEN winners emerged in this category and therefore each are to receive payouts of ?1,500,000,00 from the total of ?10,500,000.00 (TEN MILLION, FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND EUROS).

However,every email address selected was accompanied by a reference and ticket number, after the cyber lotto selection, the below ticket and reference numbers emereged as one of the lucky winners in the above category.CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Reference number for your prize is:Ref. No.- RNL/051/652659967/UK Ticket No.- RNL87867UK

For the your prize claim processing, we have employed the service of an lnternational Trust firm. They are to handle the transfer of your cash prize of ?1,500,000.00 in line with our procedures and upon your directions.

Your prize has been insured to its full value with your email address and will be transferred to you under their professional service. To immediately initiate the processing of your prize claim, please contact our financial handlers Bond Finance & Securities,below are the contact information of their FINANCIAL DIRECTOR;

Mr. Leonard Walter
Financial Director
Bond Finance & Securities.
email:leonardwalter01@yahoo.co.uk
Phone:+447040114988
Fax: +448701355854

I guess I’ll have to save my graceful exit out of this company for another day…