Monday, July 31, 2006

Mondayisms

The job hunt has been getting increasingly stressful as the reality of how difficult it is to get a job (even a bitch job) in publishing sets in. On top of that, I’m discovering how close to impossible it actually is to get published. But the best part is that all this elevated stress has rendered me creatively challenged. So here’s a late edition of random shit for everyone.

1) I went to the beach yesterday, and I made extra special care to cover my entire body in sunblock. Of course when I got home and showered, I noticed that one patch of my skin was itching incessantly. At first, I thought it was a mosquito bite, but upon further inspection, I realized that I had failed to sun-proof one patch of skin on my right buttock and it glowed bright red against the pale white of the rest of my skin.

2) I had no idea that Nomar Garciaparra is married to Mia Hamm.

3) Speaking of the beach, I don't know if or when the speedo became fashionable, but it was seen with alarming consistency yesterday. No matter what anyone says, no man should ever, under any circumstances wear a speedo. I don’t care if you spent the last six months toning your ass to Buns of Steel perfection, nothing says “creepy” and “too much information” like a man in a speedo.

4) Catwoman, starring Halle Berry is a horrible movie. Not that I actually wasted any time watching it or anything of course…

5) I can now predict the twist endings on CSI with approximately 85% accuracy. Hint: it’s usually one of the first people they interview.

6) I can’t believe that Tila Tequila chick from MySpace is famous now. Be sure to visit her site and check out the song “Fuck Ya Man.” The lyrics include, “I ain't tryin' to fuck ya man / lookin' at my myspace, lotion in his hand / when he look at you, he be thinkin' 'bout me / Take your Benz back bitch now I got the key.” I can definitely see 13 year-old future generation whores rocking out to this one.

7) I started and deleted three entries before this one, so I don’t care if this sucks because it’s all you’re getting.

-L

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

An Australian euphemism for a pair of speedos:

Budgie Smugglers...

Now, try to erase THAT image from your mind's eye...

L

12:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How small was the swimsuit that you were burned on your butt?

12:49 PM  
Anonymous -L said...

We call them "Banana Hammocks."

It wasn't small, I got burned right where the seam ends on the side.

5:58 PM  
Blogger taragee said...

heres a tip - from my irish mum who bursts into flames if teh sun hits her -
put sunscreen on BEFORE you put your bathing suit on, youre less likely to miss spots ;)

10:06 AM  

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