Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Welcome to New York Motherfucker

I read a comment someone wrote on someone’s website today that left me rather perplexed. I’m paraphrasing, but it was something along the lines of “SEA used to be cool before it was overrun by Guidos and Bridge and Tunnelers.” For those of you who might not be familiar with SEA or the term “Bridge and Tunnel,” SEA is a trendy Thai restaurant in Brooklyn (there’s another branch in Manhattan, but the Brooklyn one’s better). “Bridge and Tunnel” is a derogatory term that refers to the residents of New York City who do not inhabit the borough of Manhattan, and thus need to take a bridge or a tunnel to get to it. Hailing from Queens, I am a proud Bridge and Tunneler.

If you put two-and-two together, you’ll see that this comment makes little to no sense because SEA, as a restaurant within Brooklyn, would primarily be patronized by Brooklynites (or Bridge and Tunnelers) from the onset. Thusly, it would not become less trendy by being frequented by them. Right? So, maybe it’s the Manhattanites who caught wind of this “hotspot” within the recesses of this elusive and exotic place called Brook-linn who started to invade and ruined the ambiance of SEA.

My point: I don’t know if I’m the only New Yorker who has noticed this, but of all the people I know who live in Manhattan, I only know two who were born and raised there. And they grew up in rent-controlled closets in Chinatown, also known as “reality” so I don’t know if most trendy Manhattanites would count them. Of the remaining residents of Manhattan, most are from outside of New York entirely (a different country or state) and the remainder are from other parts of New York City (Queens, Staten Island, Brooklyn, the Bronx, Long Island). Yet, many of these Manhattanites love to throw the term “Bridge and Tunnel” around and show an enthused level of disdain for New Yorkers who do not live in Manhattan. I could really go on and on about this phenomenon, but you pretentious folk know who you are, and I would just ask that you ponder for a moment before the words, “Ugh, fucking Queens” or “I don’t leave Manhattan unless I’m taking the Jitney to the Hamptons” enter your mind or escape your lips. Ask yourself, “Was I born here? Have I ever actually been to Queens? Maybe leaving the potato farm to pursue my modeling career wasn’t such a good idea because I’ve been blowing photographers for months now and still no dice.” Manhattan is the business hub, it’s where the hipsters go to pay too much for their bad beer, it’s where you meet people who are not from New York, but if you want to understand New York, you have to understand that there’s a whole other chunk of it beyond the confines of the Hudson and East Rivers and above Central Park East/West (because Harlem and Washington Heights don’t count as Manhattan either to you freaks). So please, don’t look down on me for being from Queens, look down on me because I’m an asshole and I’m bitter and I just wasted thirty minutes talking about how much you suck.

Thank you.

-L

18 Comments:

Anonymous Mary Kelly said...

Same issue in Northern Calif. I'm from Chico and when I go to San Francisco or Monterey, I'm treated with disdain. In fact they have a joke. In Chico,they say, Velveeta is in the gourmet cheese section of the store.

"F" 'em

Mary

10:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually, I'm a Manhattanite who was born and raised here. So are most of my friends. From my experience, the term "bridge and tunnel"ers is usually used in conjunction with "guidos". The way I understand the term, it is meant to refer to Long Islanders and New Jerseyans. Guidos, I believe, are usually thought of as coming from those 2 locales. I don't think Manhattanites have any sort of disdain for our outer-borough neighbors. We do however have a disdain towards having to cross the bridges (not the same as those of the bridge and tunnelers) since that means a rather expensive cab ride is required to cart our drunkasses home.

So in summary, I think the bridges and tunnels referred to in the term are the GW Bridge, and Lincoln and Holland Tunnels. It's not the Midtown Tunnel, Brooklyn Battery Tunnel, or Manhattan/Brooklyn/WillyB/Queensboro bridges.

1:53 AM  
Blogger The Doorman said...

Anonymous,

If none of the routes bringing you into Manhattan from the east count toward the B&T designation, yet Guidos are from Long Island, how do people from Long Island get into Manhattan?

Or does the LIRR tube not count as a "tunnel"?

3:33 AM  
Anonymous Pat said...

This happened to the beer garden in Astoria: used to be only known by Astorians, then Manhattan hipsters caught wind of it and overcrowded it to the point of suckage.

Being a non-New Yorker who lived in Queens my whole time in NYC, I know all about the Manhattanite disdain for the outer boroughs. Fuck that, they're idiots. Queens clearly has the best food of any borough.

11:11 AM  
Anonymous anna said...

anonymous,
i hardly think you're qualified to speak for all of manhattan; you haven't even left your name. on top of that, you're an idiot.

**

sea is overrated.

11:52 AM  
Blogger The Doorman said...

Settle down, Pat. You're from Pittsburgh.

12:48 PM  
Anonymous -L said...

Actually Anonymous, the common misconception is that Bridge and Tunnel refers primarily to people from beyond New York City when the term really refers to New Yorkers who are not from Manhattan.

I was refering primarily to Manhattanites who are not originally from Manhattan. Those are the ones who usually put on airs as if New York is Manhattan and the rest is just the shit that cushions it because they don't know any better.

Besides the comments clearly illustrate that Bridge and Tunnelers have a lot more hate towards Manhattanites than vice versa. You can thank the ignorant non-New Yorkers who invaded your borough for that.

1:57 PM  
Blogger concha said...

i live in the UES. don;t make fun of me. i didn't know any better when i moved here 11 months ago. but the lease is up in a month and i can't fucking wait to be a bridge and tunneler. fucking much cooler ass brooklyn, here i come.

2:45 PM  
Blogger The Doorman said...

Staten Island is the new Williamsburgh.

3:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow Anna,
1. You take the internet too seriously. 2. You take offense too easily.
Please grow up and learn to communicate like an adult. Thanks.

I did not register because it was my first (and intended only?) time posting -- so I thought it was a waste of time to create an account. Anyhoot, my post was not intended to contain any inflammatory remarks. Reread if you must. I was merely commenting on the way I (personally) understood the term and how I find it being used.

If you read a little bit slower, or even out loud to yourself if you must, you'll recall that I have nothing against people or locations outside of Manhattan. I just hate to leave the island for night-time activities since it means a long expensive ride home.

4:54 PM  
Blogger CEO of the World said...

-B

I didn't find the comment of anonymous to be as ignorant and offensive as apparently some people did. I think I know what you're trying to say, but maybe it wasn't articulated in the right way? B&T's is usually meant in a derogatory way to describe guidos from bumblefuck who come into the city acting like they're "in the know" when it comes to nyc. I've met long islanders that didn't know what a beef patty was. How the fuck can you call yourself a new yorker and not even know what a beef patty is? I digress...

I guess it's kinda like Chris Rock's standup where he defines the difference between blacks and n*ggers... we'd describe someone from queens/LI/jersey/or any other place near Manhattan as a B&T'er depending on how tooly they were.

It's also very possible I have no idea what the hell I'm talking about. I'm in the mood for a beef patty...

5:58 PM  
Blogger -t- said...

Is it too late to get into the argument? Here's all I got to say on the matter. I'm currently residing in Jersey City but I was born and raised in manhattan as are all my friends from childhood. Living out our youths in the rent controlled/Mitchel Llama apartments our parents paid 600 a month for. The only ones that still live in the city are those who have chosen the comforts of their parents home. The trust fund invasion is one of biblical propotions and I hope one day we will look back on it as "the new dark ages."
If I have to trip over one more thousand dollar stroller I'm going to move to Ohio.

10:16 PM  
Anonymous Pat said...

Rego Park is the new Meatpacking District.

10:26 AM  
Blogger newyorkette said...

Now now. I grew up in Queens, and I'm sure you have found its merits or you wouldn't be living there now, but me, for nothing would I move back there. My experience was not such that I'm nostalgic about it, to say the least.

On the other hand, I think Manhattanites who go hang out in Astoria to feel cool are just as annoying as the people from Great Neck who don't know how to ride the subway like a grown-up.

Maybe we should replace B&T with something along the lines of "pathetic stupid assholes," so that no matter where they come from, if they are sitting in my regular seat at my regular diner, in my regular hours just because they want a bit of "local flavor" to brag about to their bumpkin friends, or generally just being obnoxious and annoying my faithful waitress, they are aptly named.

That goes equally for people who journey far from home to act like assholes on subways, act like assholes on the sidewalk (learn to walk! this is The City, remember?), or who don't even believe me when I tell them which way is East or West or uptown or downtown when they ask me (what's up with them? )

8:33 PM  
Blogger wdegraw said...

This whole debate is a bad cliche from the 90's.

P.S. Rockaway is the new Breezy Point.

1:05 AM  
Blogger The Doorman said...

Hey! Leave Breezy out of this. That's only for us white folks.

Right?

8:48 PM  
Blogger wdegraw said...

As Breezy security used to say - no "4x4"s allowed through the gate.

11:53 PM  
Blogger sc said...

i'd say those who have moved here from bumblefuck, ohio are the biggest bridge and tunnelers of them all. we don't need your gentrification, it's crowded as it is.

flushing is the new hell's kitchen.

12:09 AM  

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