Monday, June 04, 2007

Star Search

I need a muse.

I've known this for quite some time now, but that doesn't make it any easier to find one. I've found a few temporary muses, involuntary ones who would probably be horrified, point fingers and scream "stalker!" if they found out how many times I had checked their MySpace pages or Xanga blogs or Facebook sites, whatever their internet exhibitionist drug of choice may be. This has resulted in several pages of mediocre prose busted out in erratic spurts like a middle-aged man with BPH. But it's not enough.

So if you think you have an interesting life, feel free to suggest yourself as my muse. My only requirements are that you have good/unorthodox/eclectic taste in music and film, your life does not consist of mindless fraternity-esque parties, "bitches,"and your "dope ride," and you make an effort to socialize with people outside of your race/creed/comfort zone. (Loners, freaks, geeks, weirdos and those with mental illness, diagnosed or undiagnosed, welcome and emphatically embraced.) You will also have to be comfortable with me falling in love with you. Not in a romantic sense, mind you, but in a creepy, obsessive sense--the best, and only, kind of love.

Benefits include immortalization via pedestrian art. Possible casual sex thanks to a night of drunken debauchery that will inevitably result in extended periods of regret and awkwardness.

Don't all jump up at once...