Quitting

I want to write something. I want to write a lot of things.

But I can't.

Most of them are too personal for me to put up here. Or, maybe "personal" is the wrong word. They would test my pride. What would be a good word to describe that? "Shameful" sounds too dramatic, but it's something along those lines. A few people still read this site and I just can't admit certain things. I can't let them know that I'm doing and thinking certain things.

It's just too sad (in a pathetic sad kind of way, which is the saddest thing, really).

I used to be a strong advocate of "out of sight, out of mind." I'd talk and talk about something that upset me and then I'd set a day and just stop. The things that made me sad were like any addiction and I'd cut myself off cold turkey and a week, a month, a year later, I was washed of it.

I try to employ this same technique now, but I can't help the conversations I have with myself in my head.

Maybe I'm just not trying hard enough.