Full Metal Stereotype

Of the many topics we discussed and essays we had to read in my Theory and Criticism class my senior year of college, Edward Said’s (pronounced sah-YEED) Orientalism was by far the only one that I found genuinely interesting. It was a relief amidst a sea of Derrida’s deconstruction, Segdwick’s Queer Theory, Freud’s Penis Envy, and Foucault’s Panoptic Eye (although this was pretty interesting too, and we got to watch Pink Floyd’s, The Wall in class). For the most part, these essays were like wading through literary goo that oozed on and on, traced and retraced trains of seemingly endless and pointless thought, and made me want to jab pointy objects into the eyes of anyone who ever wrote fifty pages about why the word “chair” means “chair” instead of, perhaps, “elephant” or “foot.”

It’s a fucking chair, shut up.

I guess the fact that I am “oriental” (please do not use this word to describe Asian people), added to the appeal of Said’s essay, but the entire class agreed that it was much easier to follow than any of the other crap we had to read.

Said said (hah) that Orientalism was the way Western society (aka the Occident) portrayed Eastern society (aka Yellow Folk). While many of their portrayals were not damning, they adulterated one’s perception of the Orient in a way that was more damaging than straight racism. Why? Because in an attempt to accurately depict Asian people, even if it was in a flattering manner, they drove many stereotypes home. Therefore, under the guise of an accurate portrayal of a culture, they further misled Western society to believe that Asian people were submissive, loyal, overachievers, men were feminine, women were "dragon-ladies" or prostitutes, etc. People readily accepted these portrayals because they weren't racist, but representative.

Are you following me? Yeah, me neither.

Anyway, this brings me to my favorite example of Orientalism, Full Metal Jacket. Possibly one of the best films ever made. If you have not watched it, hurry up and Netflix it (and if you don’t have Netflix…get with it, asshole). It chronicles the journey of several American soldiers from boot camp to Vietnam. It is also the source of numerous famous quotes (What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?) including everyone’s favorite, the bane of every Asian woman’s existence from now until the end of time, “Me love you long time.”

Shudder.

I mean, come on, couldn’t Stanley Kubrick put something like this in Eyes Wide Shut instead? At least that was a crappy, forgettable film. Instead, this line got strapped into his best film (maybe not best because A Clockwork Orange is pretty awesome-er), and will live on for all eternity as the most irritating five words in existence.

So, what have we learned?
-Edward Said's name is pronounced (sah-YEED).
-Don't call Asian people "oriental."
-I will not "love you long time," so stop fucking asking me.
-Vietnamese chicks make for good snipers (you've gotta watch the film to get this one).

-L