Caught Red-Snouted

"Oh my Gawd! Oh my Gawd!" Julia trumpets from the hall in her thick Lawn Guyland accent.

"What? What?!"

I run over to find her staring at Dog, his eyes wide as dinner plates, her Sephora blush brush between his paws, pony hair bristles surrounding him, his muzzle tinted pink from residual blush powder.

"You muthafucker!" I'm snatch what's left of the brush from him. He is frozen, still wide-eyed, confused. "What the fuck? Jesus-fuckin'-Christ, you're too old to be doin' this kinda shit! 'Da fuck is wrong wit you?!" I give him a light spank, his ears drop.

"Awh, it's okay. Look at him, he's sorry!" Julia is too forgiving.

So, thanks to Dog, today's lunch hour will be spent legging it over to Sephora to spend $26(!!!) on a blush brush.

Fuckin' Dog.

-L