Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Irish Lovin'

Friday night. Sitting at home. Nursing myself back to health after Thursday's epic alcohol binge. I do what any normal 22 year-old female would do and I download the Colin Farrell sex tape.

Fine, I admit I used to have a crush on him in high school due entirely to my unhealthy obsession with Irish men (more on this later), but nowadays I find him mostly annoying and a big poser. I've been to the neighborhood he grew up in and it definitely ain't "da hood."

In this instance I swear, I downloaded it out of sheer residual adolescent curiosity not out of my "Green Fever" as Cat likes to call it.

(Am I too embarassing for words? Probably.)

A couple of thoughts:

1) Colin Farrell talks way too much during sex. Baby this, baby that, Fuck this, fuck that. Nicole Narain looked straight-up annoyed during a lot of it.
2) Nicole Narain is extremely boring in bed for a Playboy model. You'd figure a woman who regularly poses nude for magazines, agrees to videotape herself having sex with the biggest man-slut to date, and then tries to convince him to let her market the tape after it's "mysteriously stolen" would be a raging she-demon in bed. Not so much.
3) This tape provided further confirmation on my theory that the whole Irish Curse nonsense applies only to Irish-American men (definitely more on this later).
4) The word "pussy" never bothered me before. But after hearing Colin Farrell say it in that stupid fake accent 5000 times in less than 15 minutes...
5) Why do celebrities continue to videotape themselves having sex?
6) There's nothing like a sex tape to shift a man's image from "sexy" to "creepy."



Anonymous Lolo said...

I've "heard" that having a thing for the Irish makes you a potato chaser. Or is it masher?

God - now I'm going to spend waay too much time thinking of phrases that refer to fuckin' the Irish.

8:50 AM  
Anonymous Pat said...

You like the micks? I can promise we deliver.

And the Irish curse isn't a universal. Some of us have an Irish blessing. ;)

11:57 PM  

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