Billboard's Top Ten - Volume 2

It's that time again! (For an explanation of the premise of Billboard's Top Ten, go here)

Some might view this as an easy out due to my current lack of creativity. If you do think this, I have underestimated how intelligent my audience is.

Onward!

Smack That - Akon feat. Eminem (Billboard Ranking - 2)

This edition of Billboard’s Top Ten takes us all the way to Dakar, Senegal where this musician lived until the age of seven. When he returned to the USA, he divided most of his time between Jersey City and the state penitentiary. Upon his release, he decided to ease his transition into the free world with a brief stint in homosexuality (as is evident from his first hit single “Lonely”). He is back on the straight and narrow now, and thank God because I don’t know who would be around to “smack that” if he wasn’t.

I feel you creepin', I can see you from my shadow.
Wanna jump up in my Lamborghini Gallardo.
Maybe go to my place and just kick it, like Taebo.
And possibly bend you over.
Look back and watch me
smack that, all on the floor,
smack that, give me some more,
smack that, 'till you get sore
smack that, oooh.
smack that, all on the floor,
smack that, give me some more,
smack that, 'till you get sore,
smack that, oooh.

These lyrics actually made me sad. Seriously sad. The Taebo reference is bad enough...

But it should make men happy. Because a fourteen year-old girl’s parents sure aren’t gonna teach her how to take a good booty smackin’ like the dumb bitch she is. So now she’ll learn about it on the radio instead.

Discuss.

-L