Thursday, June 08, 2006


I haven’t been doing my customary “Mondayisms,” and I’ve got a lot on my mind, so I’m pleased to present the debut of “Thursdayisms.” Enjoy, kiddies.

1) Phone call I received yesterday:

“Did you check today?”

“Nope. Why?”

“Jason Grimsley got caught getting growth hormone delivered to his house and now he’s squealing on everyone who’s done steroids.”

“Wow. That sucks.”

Note to self: If I ever become a professional athlete, do not have performance enhancing drugs delivered to my home.
Note to self #2: Do not enter draft straight out of high school.

2) Ann Coulter is a wackjob.

3) I’m wearing jeans at work today, and so far, four people have pointed them out.

“It’s Thursday.”


“You’re wearing jeans.”


“But it’s not Friday.”

“What are they gonna do? Fire me?”

Lighten up, people! Are the people I speak to on the phone going to somehow detect that I am not properly attired in my place of employ and refuse to speak at the events I invite them to? No. They’re going to refuse to speak because the events are retarded.

4) The food in Midtown is really expensive, and doesn’t taste that great.

5) Peter Luger’s steak is very good. But the sides at Sparks are much better.

6) I have an interview on Monday at (insert name of large, pretentious investment bank here) for another conference coordination position. Bleh. The pay and benefits are awesome, but I’m weighing whether or not it’ll be worth it when I kill myself. Decisions, decisions. I’m pretty sure the interviewer will take one look at my nose ring and throw me out the window anyway, so no worries.

7) Blogger lags and gets shut down quite frequently.

8) Does anyone want to find me a job in editing/publishing? The first person to get me an interview at a cool job (i.e. Book/Magazine Editor, Psychic, Rock Star, Rodeo Clown, Naked Cowboy in Times Square) will receive a lock of my hair so that once science perfects cloning, they can have their very own replica of me! Don’t all email at once now…



Blogger taragee said...

:) haha! theres a bunch of wacky jobs on that site

1:32 PM  
Blogger threetoedsloth said...

I work in publishing and am leaving it. The thing is, it sounds great until you realize you're just a glorified secretary and that your work is no more creative than in any other office job, and yet you get paid half as much to do it. Trouble is, you usually can't become an editor right off the bat. You have to start as an editorial assistant (which is a glorified secretary), and it'll take maybe 5 years before you have a shot at a lower-level editor job, because once someone becomes an editor, they tend to hang on to that job for a good 30 years so that there's not many editor positions opening up. When I got out of college I figured, "I'm a writer (sort of)! I'll go into publishing! It'll be creative (sort of)!" But it's not really like that. It's boring administrative work for $25,000/year. Better to take a high-paying sell-your-soul job for about a year or so, save every penny, then quit and live on your saved pennies while doing what you want with your life. Since I made the mistake of working in publishing for a tiny salary, I have no saved pennies and will have to live off of saved food scraps out of the garbage when my job is over.

However! If you do think publishing is for you, look at It posts book publishing jobs from every publishing company. And you could always apply for my job; it was posted up there this week.

3:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The clone would have her own personality, so wouldn't be a true replica.

Maybe you could lock her in a dark box and poke her with sticks to rectify that... Now THAT'S Science...


1:32 AM  
Anonymous Pat said...

Midtown food does suck. It's all about Hell's Kitchen, or the entire borough of Queens.

8:37 AM  
Blogger Amy said...

Have you looked at for publishing jobs?

BTW, my experience as a magazine editor is slightly different from that of threetoedsloth. Feel free to holler if you'd like another perspective.

7:47 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home