Unexplained Phenomena – Volume 2

The Angry Yankee

Lately, I’ve been getting a lot of shit from my Yankee fan friends.

“God, why are Mets fans such assholes?”

“Jeez, why are Mets fans so bitter?”

“Yankee fans don’t hate the Mets, why are Mets fans such dicks?”

“I’m a Yankee fan, and I root for the Mets too, what are Mets fans’ problems?”

Honestly, what is there not to understand? If my team won 26 World Series Championships, clinched their division 11 years in a row, and had a lineup dubbed “Murderer’s Row,” I wouldn’t have a problem with anyone either.

See, what Yankee fans don’t realize is that most sports teams are roller coasters—high points of greatness are interspersed with a lot of low, trying times. The Yankees have had such a long history of success that they’ve turned winning into a tradition. It's something they take for granted. For most teams, winning is a luxury. It’s something fans paint their faces, wring baseball caps in their hands, spend thousands of dollars on tickets, and bargain with God—I’ll go to church every Sunday for the rest of my life if the Cubs would just win one World Series!—eagerly hoping for. Often in vain. For Yankee fans, winning is expected. They don’t feel the sting of yet another late-season drop. They don’t know what it’s like to endure a 100-year drought. When they say, “We’ll get ‘em next year,” they actually mean it.

It’s easy for Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, and Donald Trump to look out from their multimillion dollar mansions, sigh, and say, “I wish everyone could be as successful as I am!” On the other hand, a homeless man on the street finds it a bit more difficult to see Bill Gates on the news and say, “Golly! I hope he makes more money!” Britney Spears can cry to Matt Laur, “Why won’t people just leave me alone?” then turn around and say, “I wouldn’t trade my life for anything!” Tabloids have made an entire business out of this common occurrence.

Everyone hates the one on top.

So, so what? A group of Mets fans took part in a rousing round of “Yankees suck!” chants in the parking lot after last night’s win. So what? Mets fans always chant “Yankees suck!” at every game. So what? Mets hope the Yankees will lose.

So what?

If I were a Yankee fan, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

So if you’re all really the good sports that you claim to be, be a good sport and afford everyone the liberty of hating on you.

-L