Toe
Julia stopped by last night on a whim, and as we haven’t seen each other for a sum total of a two weeks (a very long time in the history of “us”), “stopping by” became “shooting the shit” for three hours, watching CSI and then almost severing my toe.
We were sitting in front of the television after eating, and I knocked a knife off of the coffee table and it promptly landed on my left foot middle toe.
A significant amount of gibberish/expletives began to stream out of my mouth at a very fast rate while Julia stared at me agape.
“Does it hurt?”
“Fuck yeah, it hurts!”
Thankfully, it was only (don’t laugh) a butter knife. In my defense, it’s a really sharp butter knife that weighs a ton, so the combination of jagged sharp teeth, considerable mass and velocity with which it flipped off the table and landed on my foot made for a pretty nasty gash. Had it been a sharper knife, bye-bye toe.
Which would have been a shame because I wouldn’t be able to flip people off with my feet anymore.
-L
We were sitting in front of the television after eating, and I knocked a knife off of the coffee table and it promptly landed on my left foot middle toe.
A significant amount of gibberish/expletives began to stream out of my mouth at a very fast rate while Julia stared at me agape.
“Does it hurt?”
“Fuck yeah, it hurts!”
Thankfully, it was only (don’t laugh) a butter knife. In my defense, it’s a really sharp butter knife that weighs a ton, so the combination of jagged sharp teeth, considerable mass and velocity with which it flipped off the table and landed on my foot made for a pretty nasty gash. Had it been a sharper knife, bye-bye toe.
Which would have been a shame because I wouldn’t be able to flip people off with my feet anymore.
-L
posted by CEO of the World at 12:31 PM
4 Comments:
Sorry I laughed. Glad you didn't lose your middle toe.
Why was this super butter knife on the coffee table anyway?
Because Julia and I were being fatasses and eating in front of the TV.
-L
i jus spent practically my whole shift at work, reading all ur blogs since i realized i havent been up-to-date for a couple of months now! so if u see a log by a person that's been on ur site for like 6hrs or so, that was me, haha.....
wut i've learned from the blogs i caught up on:
1) colin ferrell (is that how u spell it) is annoying in bed
2) i will [try] not [to] post any personal sex stories
3) butter knives are just as deadly so i should resort to spoons when putting shit on my bagel
=P
Is it hard for you to flip people off with your toe? I would have to remove my shoe, sock, and adjust my leg so my feet and toes would be facing the person's face. Plus, I can't extend my middle toe by iteself (Such as my middle finger) so I would have to hold the other toes down with my fingers. That is too much work.
Glad your okay though.
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