Wednesday, December 21, 2005

The Curse of the Singles

Home, sweet home. Now, the unemployment dance begins (although being CEO of the World is a full-time job, so is unemployment).

B has said he will "light me on fire" if I don't comment on his post, so I'll say that it drew a few chuckles out of me. However, his comment on the social status of singledom is something that I absolutely cannot pass up the chance to argue about. Although I have a lot of other things to write about (Italy, going-away-nookie (good idea, bad idea?), a final ode to London, being back home, the job hunt (better or worse than corporate bitch-dom?), as well as a theory I've been nursing about personality/intelligence levels in relation to attractiveness) I'll have to postpone all that for a bit.

Having just returned from my six-month stint in London, I know how much pressure being single brings. Somewhere during the course of my trip (rather quickly, or immediately, actually) the terms "having fun" and "hooking up" became synonymous (in the sense that one was equivalent to and could not exist without the other). A typical conversation with a friend back home once I had reached the one-month mark:

Friend: How's London?!?!?!
Me: It's okay.
Friend: Just OKAY?!?!?!!?!
Me: It's expensive.
Friend: Have you hooked up with anyone?!?!?!?!
Me: No.
Friend: Why not?!?!?!?!
Me: No one to hook up with.
Friend: What?!?!?! What's wrong with you?!?!?!?!?!

Not only were they very judgmental of me for not sleeping around, they were really excited about it.

But the absolute kicker was when I had this conversation with a friend while discussing hooking-up with people (or my lack thereof):

Me: The guy who works at the internet cafe just asked me out. Should I go out for a drink with him?
Friend: Yeah! Why not?
Me: Well, he's kind of ugly...and old.
Friend: So?
Me: So? I was being sarcastic!
Friend: Oh my God, L. You're so picky. Just go for it!

Well, I don't know when it came to pass that refusing to go on a date with a strange Eastern European man who is both unattractive and too old made me too picky, but that was it. That was when I realized that singledom is viewed as a disease by our society. And if you're single and you're not having casual encounters, then you're the disease. Society puts such a premium on romantic relationships that individuals themselves start to believe it and it's suddenly impossible to be happy and single.

That was when I decided to go on strike. I’m usually very aggressive in the dating game. I have no problem approaching a guy, striking up conversation, asking for his number, (although I’d advise against this in London as British people seem to be terrified by this type of behavior from a female). But after it became a requirement that I hook up or else I would be shunned as a freak who went abroad and didn’t contract VD from any of a number of sexual partners, I decided that I was going to take charge and break the mold and not hook up.

Alright, fine. From my last post and its reference to my sudden weakness in the final stretch of the game, you’d think I bought in. But in my defense, it didn’t happen (more on this later) and that had nothing to do with hooking up in relation to having fun, but goddamnit I’m a human being and I have needs.

So screw you all.

And stay single.



Blogger mahima said...

Hahhaa.. WORD babe! Since I went to England I've been far too busy with stuff to really bother about meeting anyone. And seriously, its just been since August, but the way my friends are *shocked* when I say I haven't hooked up with anyone is crazy. I'm eternally single and having fun fun fun, with the boys and the booze and stuff, but the fact that I'm just -not- right now seems to be too much for everyone around me. Strange. When we were in highschool the gossip centered around those chicks who were hooking up all the time, exact opposite now!!

1:57 AM  

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