First Post

The first post is always the most daunting. It has the potential to make or break a blog. On the one hand, you want to write something good, thought-provoking, giggle(maybe gag)-inducing. Something raunchy or disgusting, throw in the word "fuck" and "cunt" a couple of times. Make people cringe or choke or laugh so suddenly they end up farting through their nose in a sad attempt to stifle it lest their boss realize that they aren't doing that "special project" s/he assigned to them a week ago and still haven't heard a solid, legitimate update on other than "it's going well." You want to draw the crowd, entertain the bored-at-work masses, and establish a strong following of readers. On the other hand, you don't want to give too much away. You can't write your best post first, run out of juice, and let every post that follows become increasingly disappointing.

So the obvious start is to break it down, explain the premise of this blog, and give all the fellow corporate bitch masses the option to continue reading, or click that little 'x' on the top right (or the little box on the top left if you're wack and you own a Mac) and get the fuck outta here.

We aren't much different from you, I'm sure. We're brother(B) and sister(L) who have fallen victim to the lure of stability, servitude, and financial security offered by the corporate world. We divide our time at work equally between pretending to work and blatantly slacking off, and what better way to do it than writing a blog?

What makes us different from (or maybe even more similar to) you? We are the products of 26 and 22 years, respectively, of a fucked-up, strict, borderline abusive, completely dysfunctional Korean-American-Roman-Catholic-Elmhurst-Bayside upbringing.

We were recently offered the job title of "CEOs of the World" and, after much deliberation, graciously accepted under the strict premise that we would share the title equally, be allowed to do whatever the fuck we want, and we could tell everyone that we're better than them, point, laugh, and make them get us coffee.

This blog is to help us whittle away time between bathroom/cigarette/coffee/quickie with hot co-worker in the conference room breaks and, hopefully, help you do the same.

-L