Monday, June 19, 2006

People Who Should Die (Very Violently)

Now I'm not a violent guy (unless you're a little girl. If you're a little girl, I'm gonna kick your fucking ass), but there are some people in the world who I seriously believe should die very violent deaths. I hate wishing ill on others but, I'm just kidding, I love wishing ill on others. I'm not even sure if that's a grammatically correct sentence. Which leads me to my first pet peeve. Well not exactly a pet peeve since it's more extreme than that so let me rephrase: which leads me to my first mind numbingly, suicide inducing, observed life inconvenience. Strangers who correct your grammar. Some people like sounding uneducated in blogs, and some people really are just that stupid. Let them/us be.

I hate people who repeat words in order to express degrees of severity. Case in point, a lot of people write or say the word "really" multiple times just to get a point across. "I'm really really really really pissed off." or "I'm really really really really horny." Why not use another word instead of wasting your breath and my time? Say, "I'm vehemently pissed off" or "I'm voraciously horny". I'm willing to bet that the words "vehement" and "voracious" don't even have any latin roots tied to them, rather they were created because it's just plain hard to say them 4 times quickly. And when did 4 "really's" become the cutoff? Why not five? Oh I know, it's because that would just sound really really really really really stupid.

Why do people write "haha" in blogs? Are they trying to cue laughter? Are we supposed to read the words, "haha" and suddenly burst out laughing really really really really hard? I admit, I write the words "haha" in instant messages and in e-mails but it's always in response to something. Who the fuck responds to their own blog with laughter? How narcissistic can you get? And why the hell do I ask so many questions? Haha. I've read these ridiculously lame blogs that keep laughing after every sentence. Haha. it's kind of annoying. Haha. I wish they'd die. Haha. Very violently. Haha.

Vegetarians should die. They're too peaceful. I don't trust that. Vegetarians are, without fail, some of the most high maintenance people in the world. 90% of the restaurants in the world become off limits as soon as you decide to become a vegetarian and are still desirous of a decent meal. If you're a vegan (a word that I for some reason associate with Vulcans in StarTrek, who by the way I would much rather befriend before a vegan) then you're suddenly down to .001% of that remaining 10%. That's math that I can't even fucking do. Yeah, I know, it's simple, but then again, so am I.

Bitter little Korean guys who sit in offices all day and bitch and complain about other people who should die. Can someone really really really really throw me out window haha?

-B

4 Comments:

Anonymous not UR bf said...

b,

your post is really really really really really funny HAHA

10:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i'm scared to say haha, so how about LOL that post made me chorrrrtle.

11:42 AM  
Blogger Peter P. Murphy said...

haha... I really really really really want you to die. haha - I only say that because I am an ass, and am suffering from a Brobdingnagian case of office ennui. Thanks for alleviating some of the tedium :) haha.

11:36 AM  
Anonymous jl said...

Hi, recently started reading your blog.

That was brilliant. You hit the nail on the head with this post.

7:11 PM  

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